Home stretch

This has been finals week for Greg. As of Thursday afternoon after 4:00 he will be done with all his finals... he just has to show up to his last class on Friday. One semester down!!! Just 3 more to go. Time has gone by really fast. And actually for the most part have had a lot of fun up here in Portland. (Minus my two major break downs ... my husband knew I wasn't all there when he married me... he was warned).

Okay... Warning I'm going to talk about my husband for a bit. I mean it is a blog... and do get to barf that out ever once in a blue moon.


Greg has done an amazing job balancing school work, being a husband, being a father, making friends, finding a new church, and even some part time work for his dad. Of course we all had to figure out what that balance was actually going to look like. But Greg and I were willing to adjust and work at it. It has been amazing this semester to watch him pursue a deeper love for Christ and allow himself to be challenged. I thank God that His timing is perfect. He has prepared Greg for just this time. Though we look forward to answers of our great unknown future (always living in the land of hypothetical), we are truly content with where we are today. Don't get me wrong, there are tough moments, tough days, even tough weeks. But at the end of it we feel healthier and united.

Okay, I know - barf. But someone asked me what I loved about this semester and that was my answer.

Well, tomorrow afternoon we will kick off our Christmas break by heading up to WA once again to attend Anna Rodriguez's 5th birthday party. Then on Wed we head to CALIFORNIA!!!

Crazy days

So last night I was up until 1am due to the fact of my intense fabric cutting. Makayla and I are sewing 3 little lap blankets this year for Christmas gifts. We have finished one and are on our way with the second. Last night I cut all the fabric for the second one and decided while I was up I would finish recovering my fourth chair. Oh! for those that don't know .. We finally found a dining set on Craig's list. We have painted and recovered the set... Pictures to come.

As I enter into my Monday we are looking at me watching Aden from down the way today, then Mak's soccer practice, then back home so I can watch another child named Sarah, then lunch, then putting 3 kids down for naps so that I can do home school and sewing w/ Mak, and then later tonight some friends and myself plan on stealing a friend for her 30th birthday. SO crazy.Greg announced last night that he was going to the Library to study and wouldn't come out of the cave until dinner time. But I seriously can't complain about this kind of craziness. I love having my days be filled with people, especially my two kids. They are such a crack up. Makayla just walked down the stairs in the brightest combination of clothes! But she's happy and I'll now be able to tell which one is my kid on the soccer field.

Well, off to begin a day of productivity.

* Christ followers or Christian

Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. –C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory


This quote convicts me to my core. How true it is to me that I ride the fence in my relationship to Christ. The original coined phrase of "Christian" was meant as a negative put down. It means Little Christ. We, followers of Christ, however do not find the term to be offensive. Well... maybe until now. Let me explain. There is this joy to be associated with Christ. Whether it is popular or not to be so closely associated to Christ that others might say "He (or she) is like a little Christ running around" would be a great honor. However, I do believe in today's culture the word "Christian" has gotten new associations. It no longer means a reflection of Christ but yet a devouter to rules and laws and even hypocrisy. Sounds harsh, I know. We have strayed from the idea to be so filled with His Spirit that those around us could not reject the fact of who our Lord is. But in stead have traded in a relationship and worship of and with our God for love of tradition and heritage. I do not believe Christ is honored when we forget Him in our daily doings. Are we following Christ or are we following tradition? Have we fallen in love with doing church well that we have betrayed our love with God Himself? Now don't get me wrong, this is not a church bashing session. But we have got to stop and look around and see what are we investing in. Are we investing in our love with Christ and following through with action? Or are we investing more time and energy in preforming a better, smoother program with Christ standing outside our doors. And this is not speaking of leadership but I am speaking about the whole body. You, me, the guy sitting next to you. What are you investing in? What am I investing in? If you can say Jesus, than Hallelujah. Praise God. As for me, honestly it has not been until recently when all has been striped away that I HAVE had to invest more in my relationship and not be so easily content with my mud pies in the slum. I pray that one day I will be able to truly have a better comprehension of the Holiday at Sea that the King has awaiting for me.

* Life is disappointing... Point Blank

Okay, so the title gives off this ring of being a downer, but just stay with me for a moment. Our life is well, crazy. Maybe a better word should be messy. I think that is why so many times we, meaning you, me, even Joe the Plumber, plan out our lives to go in one direction and when it doesn't happen we start stomping our feet.

As Christians, we tend to do this, "sure Lord I surrender my future to you. As if this future is this far off lofty idea. Well, what about today? Are we surrendering today, this hour, this moment? To be honest, as of late, I pretty much have come up short on that. Oh, sure when I'm praying I say things like use me today as you will Lord. Let me be flexible. And those are good things to say, I'm sure. But when I'm actually conversing with God and not just checking in for my spiritual refill, my heart is telling God you can have my long term goals, but my short term goals and desires, those are mine.

I think this is common. We come up with these perfect scenarios in our brain of how our life is going to pan out. Almost like a movie or a great book. And why not? When we watch a movie or read we get to do something that we can't do in reality-- Know the ending of the story. Everyday we are filled with new decisions, consequences from previous decisions, the ugliness of sin clashing against another sinner, mixed right in there with the joys and thrills of life.

So yes, if we continue to try to plan out and lead our own lives in this demanding spirit than we are going to be disappointed. It is not going to happen our way. Because truth is its not about our way. Its not about us. Or more pointedly, its simply not about me.

Remember how in James 4 it speaks of submitting ourselves to God and later on boasting about tomorrow? I think James hit it on the nose in chapter 4 verse 13-17
"Now listen, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, If it is the Lords will, we will live and do this or that. As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

So life is disappointing... when its about me. However, the good news is when its about Christ there is freedom. That doesn't mean that a life with Christ is not hard or will not cause great pain and suffering. Sorry, but just take a look at the guys that hung out with Christ. Most of them were killed. But were they disappointed? I would have to wonder if they felt that the only disappointing thing was that their time was cut short of sharing who the Messiah truly was.

What are your thoughts? I might be off base theologically and would welcome and ask for guidance back to the biblical interpretations.

Jen

*Occassionally there will be post marked with an *. One of my aunts is part of a group of people that take turn bloging certain topics. If you see an * it means that post is in relation to the question. Please feel free to read and respond. Actually response is nice in order to see what others are thinking and processing. And I am the first to admit that I am a layman (or simply a lame woman : 0) ) and do NOT have all the answers. Just day to day living with Christ.

Start asking questions

Our neighbors down the way, Sam and Trevor, are trying to teach their 7 yr. old son and 5 yr. old daughter to pray as if they were talking straight to Jesus' face and try to get away from repetitive prayer. That means just say whatever is on your mind. Letting them know they can ask questions. Well, the little prayers from their 5 yr. old is so genuine and sweet that it is actually convicting. She ask questions- to God while praying--such as "God, do you eat?"

Though at first it is tempting to smile and even give a little chuckle it somewhat pierces the heart. If I stop and think and be honest with myself, I realize that I come to ask request with an attitude of command. For example I would normally say something like, God I lift such and such to you. I ask that you do such and such.And of course I'll throw in some big flowery sentences and keep saying God's name during the prayer ( I guess, just in case He forget whom I was praying to?) But really what I'm saying is God do this. It usually does not sound like God, what is it that you have for this person? How would you like me to act today or when I met with this other person? How humbling a child's conversation is. How rude I must sound compared to the innocent child who simply ask God if He eats.

Yeah, Jen has a friend...actually friends!

I know. Lame long title name. But I think I actually skipped, or maybe that's hopped up my stairs tonight. I knows it only been over 3 weeks since moving to the PNW, however when I get locked in an area with no other outlet for relationships other than my wonderful husband and fantastic kids and their books that I've read a MILLION times... I start to hit my head against the wall. I had all of these wonderful notions that I was going to hibernate in my house for the next 6 months and sew and scrapbook and read. Yep, I've done some of that and you know what I realized. I'm way too relational to sit by myself day after day after day. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love my quiet time at night. I just like to break it up after a while. Okay, so where am I going with this? Well... I have 3 new friends and working on developing some more. There is Jamie (who has a daughter named Sarah 18 months old), then Jodi ( has a son named Aiden that is 14 months old) and then there is Liz ( who has a daughter named Sarah 3 yrs, Justice 2 yr, and Ruthie 9 month old). Then there is Sam who has two kids. Their daughter is Vanessa who Mak has befriended. Last night Greg and I went out on a double date! Yeah, for PTO (parent time out)! We went to Edgefield with Aaron and Liz. They were so much fun. It was great to talk about God, kids, church, school, family, future, missions w/ another couple. I came home jabbering from the excitement. Then today with more interactions from the moms, I had the thought "Thank you God, that you know me better than I know myself. You knew that I needed these women". I've been praying for my kids to make friends and that they feel like they are home. But It hasn't been a real sincere prayer for myself to have that. Not sure why. But God thankfully gives us beyond what we ask for, He gives us what we need. So often we talk about God giving us what we need and not just what we ask for, we almost have this negative spin on it. Like God has then denied us something that is pleasurable. Which I would say,that might be the case in some matters. But it also is taken that God knows what we need even if we are clueless. He doesn't always wait for use to clue in and then ask for something. He also gives graciously and meeting all of our needs. Thank God He does that. Other wise I would be walking around the house ripping into my loved ones not knowing what was wrong with me! I simply needed other women to bond with.

So Yeah for friends! Yeah for future possibilities! And the biggest Yeah is that God actually gets Me!

Inside Out

Well, as many of you know at 7:00 on May 7th I, Jennifer, will be having back surgery on my L5-S1 area. I have had some back pain for the last 3 years and have had some chiropractic work. However, due through a series events recently the doctors decided it was time to take care of it. It can feel a little overwhelming at time. To be honest I have total peace about the surgery. The hard part is understanding that my interactions with my kids is having to shift a bit. I can not throw them around the house and do airplane, or let them crawl and climb all over me for the next couple of months. The hardest part is feeling like a burden. That other people are having to shift their schedules to accommodate. Though I know that all of the people I love so dearly make themselves available to love and serve from a genuine place in their heart. I still don't like making people change their lives though. I secertly am looking forward to some down time with the Lord. I wonder what He is going to say, or do? I wonder if I will finally allow Him to teach me the discipline of being still and resting. I pray that this time is honoring and not a spiritual waste- on my part that is.

So, if you could keep my family in your prayers that would be appreciated. Look forward to updating you all on the cool thing(s) God showed me.

Much love to you all!

Jen

The Hour Glass